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The Infamous Chin Hair Poem   arrow

Chin Hair FairyWhile I’m definitely not much of a poet, this poem just sprang into being one day while…well, while…uh…well, you’ll figure out what I was doing!

Read in front of a welcoming crowd of fellow writers from Brian Henry’s classes, friends and family, at CJ’s Cafe in Burlington on December 10, 2013, this poem seemed to have struck a chord with those in attendance, as there have been requests for it to be ‘put out there’.  Thank you!

While men may think, “No, no this never happens to my partner!” and younger women are aghast to hear what’s in store for them, “Oh, surely not me?!”, it is just one of those little things in life that make you go, ‘Really?! THIS has to happen to me now?!”  Ah, the joy of aging – but remember the old adage, living long enough to experience these things sure beats the alternative!

A recording of me reciting the poem, here:

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

by Joan Doane 

I check again in the mirror, and it’s still very there,
on my chin, it’s a dark one – a really long hair.
Because tonight’s important I made sure it was clear,
and I carefully checked in my 5X, 10X and 12X mirrors!
But there it is, out and waving, for all of you to see;
such is life – as a girl – when she’s over fifty.

The hair on my head’s turning white as the snow,
but the hair on my chin? Oh, no, no, no, no.
White ones, black ones, brown ones, grey!
I wonder how many I’ll have each day!
My hair leaps and it frolics while I’m in my bed,
and covers me quickly from my toes to my head.
But the sturdiest bunch are grown just for my face;
the more important the occasion, the faster the pace.

The Good Lord, in his wisdom (and I’ve no doubt it’s a he!)
Thought, “Now, what can I give her, as a kind of ‘services fee’?
She’s raised a few children and volunteered time,
slept with My Gift-to-Women and cooked meals on a dime.
She’s used up her youth, and her vigour and vim…
I know! I’ll put hair on her chinny-chin-chin!”

“I’ll give her surprises! One day at a time!
One day there’ll be none – the next day there’ll be nine!
I’ll make them all colours! Like the peoples of the world!
Some will be straight, and some will be curled.
I’ll put some on the left, and then some on the right
and I’ll save the really dark ones as a special highlight.”

Hey, that’s what He said, and He’s done it up right.
Like the Tooth Fairy gone whacko, chin hairs come in the night.
I’ve tried, and I’m failing to keep them at bay.
“Just be natural, embrace them” my friends they all say.
But I still wage a good battle – for now, on grooming I’m stuck,
for I know the age is coming when I won’t give a pluck!